PERFECTIONISM + CAN WE CANCEL CANCEL CULTURE?!
Let's talk about trying to be perfect.
They say perfect doesn’t exist and maybe that because being perfect looks different for everyone. But if you don’t suffer with perfectionism and intrusive thoughts from trying to be ‘perfect’. Then you might not know or understand how damaging is can be for some people.
I have suffered with perfectionism for soo much of my life but it wasn’t until very recently that i realised how much it is effecting almost everything in my life. I try to control everything by making my self be perfect at everything i do and if its not perfect my inner thoughts/ critic are so intrusive.
Perfectionism is often defined as the need to be or appear to be perfect, or even to believe that it's possible to achieve perfection. (Good Therapy)
It's trying to control everything, even things that can’t be controlled. For me when I'm decorating a cake and the buttercream isn't going ‘perfectly’ smooth i get soo frustrated that is not ‘perfect’. The intrusive thoughts from my lovely inner critic is that if it's not perfect everyone will leave me. That everyone around me will no longer want me, no one will want my creations, my family with leave me and i will be all alone. Now i know thats not true and that my friends and family love me unconditionally but sometimes its really hard to stop those thoughts coming in.
Then we go on social media and people are flaunting this cancel culture shit everywhere and showing off other peoples mistakes like it's a badge of honour. ‘Look at me i found a mistake on someones post and now I'm going to TELL EVERYONE’. Well its no fucking wonder that so many people suffer with perfectionism because no one will let us make mistakes.
When i get stuck in those moments where everything has to be perfect and if it's not its absolute garbage it's really tricky to get out. Something that has really helped me is remembering my ‘why’, the why behind the craving to be perfect. It is a little girl (little me) absolutely terrified to loose everyone around her and be completely alone. It helps me to step back, get grounded and remember that is not actually fact, that everyone is not leaving me if this little thing isn't going ‘perfectly’.
For me it goes a bit deeper than that too for a long time i have been afraid to really feeling my feelings but now is the time to sit with my feelings and the terrified little girl to really process everything I've put her through. I know that working on myself and working through these things is going to make me feel better, understand myself, eventually a little less afraid and trying not to be so perfect.
So, please if you are trying to be perfect all the time, stop, have a think about what you are really worried about happening if it doesn't work out. And use that as ammo to let yourself be totally okay with it not being perfect. I mean, surely ripped jeans didn't become FASHUN from striving for perfect, surely someone fell over, ripped their jeans and just absolutely WORKED IT and now look at us ripping our jeans on purpose these days!
And PLEASE STOP SHITTING ON OTHERS FOR MAKING MISTAKES!!! Life would be so fucking boring without them!
Make a powerful impact for your loved ones TODAY, buy a Flosskit and go and talk to them about this kind stuff - do not delay! Because YOU MATTER, YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME AND WE ARE NOT ALONE!!
Stunning images by Nykie Grove Eades Photography